It was a strange week for me last week, I found myself dragged into a family issue that pretty much had nothing to do with me, I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me why I moved away from that friendship and then I found myself having issues with people from work, something a few people seem to relate to.
Have you ever found yourself dragged into something that has brought you undue stress, an event that on the whole of things amounts to nothing in the end? Have you ever found yourself getting involved with something in work that six months down the line you can’t even remember, or even why you reacted that way, and thought why you did react like that anyway?
While it is hard not to get involved, you need to be able to remove yourself, it is okay to listen to peoples problems and issues, however it is critical to know when to not get too invested. It is important to recognise that some events never actually materialize. Essentially some events are words that never materialize into action and yet they have had a profound impact on your life. In the words of Epictetus
“another person will not do you harm unless you wish it; you will be harmed at just that time at which you take yourself to be harmed.”
I have read other articles that suggest that toxic people are only out to cause the most damage to other people and your life with most concluding that these people need to be cut from your life ignoring the fact it probably isn’t that easy. What needs to be recognised is the power we have to control how we approach situations, how we react and how we allow events to affect us rather then cutting off all ties recognize that not everyone is out to cause mayhem.
Fantastic insight, thank you for sharing. I’ll check out Mr.Shetty’ video too.
I don’t believe that most people want to be toxic.
If you can help, do, if they don’t know, say. Jay Shetty has an excellent video on this, and suggests leeping a ratio of 3:1 positive to negative people to help keep your balance
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Sorry for the delay in reply. I agree I don’t believe people go out out their way to hurt, at least I’d like to believe that. That ratio sounds like a great idea, I will check it out.