For a long time I wanted to go back to college, when I finished school the economic crash happened. I had to get a job. After a couple of years in the same job with no prospects of advancing up the ladder, my manager didn’t like me, ( I’ll get to why I know he didn’t like me), I realised that I needed to get an education, I had no transferable skills, don’t driving license etc…
You’re not your job, you’re not the car you drive, you’re not the contents of your wallet…” – Chuck Palahniuk
Work sucked, I wanted more, I wanted more mental stimulation. When you want to do something more and you are suck in a monotonous job doing the same thing over and over, you start to find yourself falling down the rabbit hole. Everything becomes the same, conversations are the same, meals are the same, the days become the same; your week becomes the same, work hard, go out, pay bills; work hard, go out, pay bills. I wasn’t depressed, to clear that up, just that’s what happens, you fall into a routine.
“We buy things we don’t need with money, we don’t have to impress people we don’t like” Chuck Palahniuk.
I wasn’t sure how to go back to college, I was afraid, I needed money which my job gave I just needed more. I started to take night classes and while it was mildly enjoyable I knew that I wanted to get my degree, I had diplomas but I wanted more. No-one in my immediate family had finished college. My background made me a statistic that was more unlikely to get a formal “education”.
“Maybe we have to break ourselves to make something better out of ourselves” Chuck Palahniuk.
“If you work hard during this trail I might pick you to be my next manager”, my manager told me. He had to say that, technically I was next in line, I was the only one to apply for the position, however when a person doesn’t want to see you advance, they try their hardest not to help you succeed. You have to want it. Say want you want about the book the secret, but when you visualise something it will happen, I kept saying I’m going back to college. It’s what I had to do.
“If you feel like shit, everyone you hate wins” Chuck Palahniuk.
One day my uncle was at my house for a BBQ, he told me about this course that’s a stepping-stone into higher education. The catch? I had three days to apply, get an interview, then in the next three weeks start classes. So work would be majorly affected.I went to the interview after three days, I subsequently got a letter accepting me onto the course. I had a choice to make, keep up my training to a better position in my shitty job or, struggle and get what I wanted.
“This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time” Chuck Palahniuk.
Easy choice you would think? I would have to move back into my moms to have enough money to live and I would have to go part-time. Or, I could make more money and start moving up the ladder, the safe option. Then something happened, a person my boss loved came back to work with us again, and what was a two person race for two people became a three person race and I’m looking like last place. Made my decision easier.
“How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight” Chuck Palahniuk.
All I had to do was tell my boss. One morning he came in early. I’m doing some menial labour, and he starts to tell me about this course he is doing within the company that will advance his career and make him more money. He was telling me that these are the things I should do to better myself. While knowing he was never going to promote me. That was my opportunity. And I grabbed it. How I know he didn’t like me and wasn’t going to promote me? by telling me I wouldn’t get the promotion, if I did the course, when he left a few months later, I got the promotion anyway.
“Only after disaster can we be resurrected” Chuck Palahniuk.
Just do it. Even when people think what you want to do is stupid.
Categories: Thoughts on my life